Circa April 7th, 2005

You are easily the most enjoyable aspect of my life.

Circa October 5th, 2006

The other day I doodled my gravestone onto a page. The epitaph read:

"There's nothing wrong with anything."

Testimony

I lie to myself and, as a result, I lie to others. The truth is that I am heartbroken. That this feeling hasn't changed in the slightest in the past however many months. That admitting this to myself causes me to feel a hopelessness that I haven't ever felt before. That what I lost I will never get back. I am overwhelmed with regret. I am nothing more than a familiar face, and I can't decide if that's enough. 

18

Nowhere to go

Nothing to do

But sit in this room

And think about you

Now

Fortune had smiled on us once, her face a radiant glow that warmed our naked limbs. But fate has plunged a knife, jagged and cold, deep into our chests and we now lay bleeding out on the floors of prisons of our own design, the dim light of day fading farther beyond horizons we will never reach, turning slowly to a night that will last forever. 

Hold close these fleeting, final images of beauty and freedom glimpsed through the rusted bars. Ignorance and fear form the foundations on which our respective cells are built. Trapped by inevitability; there is no escape, only surrender. Only darkness. Only solitude. Only death. 

Unless...

Spring

Gray skies above, small puddles of water pooled at the edges of the sidewalk, and the brilliant green of spring grass stood to the side, radiant.

And I wish that the world was flat so that I could walk to its edge and fall into the sky.